I’m a Failure (And So Are You).
Look who’s back to blogging after taking a month off! I hope you missed me as much as I missed sharing with you!
Ok, let’s be honest…I didn’t “take a month off.” My world has been flipping completely upside-down, and y’all…I’m tired.
Over the last month, Living Your Season began a transition from just a simple blog to a
legitimate sole proprietorship. My Virtual Assisting services are now the main focus of my business, along with the LYS Designs shop (oh and we got a makeover, too- go check it out!). It’s crazy how God can pick up your “cloud” and move it 15 miles ahead of you…what’s even crazier is watching how you decide to chase after it.
But I’m not going to sit here and say the last month has been easy. In fact, this transition has beaten me down, tested my faith more than ever, and led to countless restless nights. I’m still managing my real life job and trying to make this whole thing happen ALL while not gaining weight and being a good wife (pizza, why do hate me so much?!). There have been several times where I’ve asked God why He’s playing my life out this way. Why am I the one who is constantly pushed to my limits? Why am I being called to do this? I’m not as fun or talented as these other people on the internet, so how am I supposed to build this business?
You know why I’ve had those conversations with God? Because I am totally afraid of failure. Yeah, I’ll admit it. Anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I get so worked up by the thought of failing. Why is that? Why can’t I laugh off my failures and pick back up? Honestly, failure means I’ll have to hear people’s opinions of me, and words hurt. So, what does God want us to do during these times?
God wants us to be failures. He wants us to reach rock bottom with nothing left inside. He wants us to be completely broken, shattered, and empty. A failure in God’s Eyes is someone who has tried it all and still hasn’t accomplished what they expected.
(Ok Kasey…pause. That doesn’t sound like a God I want to associate with. Why would He WANT me to be hurting?)
Bringing yourself as a failure to God during times of brokenness allows us to feel His Healing powers. Our surrender shows God that we need Him in order to advance and that we are willing to trust in His Plan rather than our own understanding. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “God, it’s your turn. Have your way with me and show me the path you’d like me to take.” Please don’t view this season as you giving up because God uses broken people to make miracles happen.
Let me explain those miracles. It’s one thing to come to God as a failure from your own mistakes (and that healing process seems a bit easier to handle), but it’s totally different when you approach Him after failing at something He asked you to do. So how is that even possible you ask? Let’s take a look back at Living Your Season, phase 1.
You’ve all heard the story about why I started blogging, but not many know about the Life Coaching part. When I first started blogging, I was on top of the world. God moved me so quickly to get set up, and before I knew it, I had people I never would have imagined reading my content. While I was on this high, I thought “why not start a Life Coaching business and that be my job?” I was sold, and I had really felt God pushing me in that direction. I made business cards, did tons of research, and even planned out the book I was going to write. Then all of a sudden, it didn’t happen. No clients, no interests. My family members didn’t even ask me about it. Wait I thought God wanted me to do that?
I had failed at something that was put on my heart. I came to God with so many questions, but it truly was easier to just break down. I never would have thought that’s what He wanted all along. He wanted me to just trust Him. I had to learn to be okay with failure. My business wouldn’t have developed into what it is now if I hadn’t failed. He now views me as a faithful servant, someone willing to try His impossible and probably fail a few times. Faith means putting earthly logic aside and obediently listening to His Plan. We have a specific God with specific plans for us, even if they don’t make sense at first.
Come to God as a failure. Take down the guard on your heart. Bring yourself completely broken to Him. That might mean standing in your closet and just crying to Him, but don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with God. He will take your shattered pieces and make them beautiful if you allow Him to.
How do you embrace failures? Are you willing to admit that you are a failure and need God’s Help?
Lord, I am a failure. I can’t do this whole thing by myself. I need you to guide my thoughts and actions towards your Plan. Please use me to do impossible things, and I will put my full faith in you, even when I may not understand just yet. Thank you for using my broken heart and giving me new life. Amen.